Eric Cubitt: The Man Who Loved

Christmas is approaching and, like many people, I have been very busy. Yes, there's the requisite gift shopping & wrapping, but I'm also busy trying to launch the next phase of my film career... that would be the "successful" phase. But every day my thoughts are drawn to my friend Eric Cubitt, who is at home in hospice care, and may very well die during this holiday season.

Meeting Eric was one of those fortuitous life events. I entered a small regional screenwriting contest because I was looking for credentials to bolster my IFP Emerging Narrative application, and I thought my script stood a reasonable chance of being a finalist. I won the contest, but then IFP cancelled its Emerging Narrative program that year. At any rate, I had the opportunity to direct my winning script, "The Machine Who Loved", for the 2009 360/365 George Eastman House Film Festival. And that year Eric Cubitt was the main producer of Screenplay Live! - the contest/staged reading event that was affiliated with the festival.

I'm sure Eric initially thought I was nuts (and possibly a pain in the ass). The winning writers rarely (ever?) direct their scripts, but I'd written this project specifically to be my professional directorial debut - with a real (low) budget, and professional cast and crew. I had no interest in seeing someone else putting my words into action, and I wanted to take a practice run at directing the script. For Eric, this meant I called him at least once a day for a few weeks, concerning every conceivable logistical detail: auditions & casting; rehearsals & scheduling; visiting the performance space; publicity, etc.

Eric took it all in stride - possibly because he loved the script so much. When he called to tell me I'd won the contest, he immediately expressed his interest in helping to get it to the big screen. I loved his enthusiasm and support. And the staged reading became the beginning of our collaboration - a mutual dream to get "The Machine Who Loved" produced.

At the Q&A following the staged reading of "The Machine Who Loved" (April 2009)
L to R: Eric Cubitt, me, and contest judge Marilyn O'Connor

Very shortly after that, both Eric and I suffered some health setbacks. I'll always remember - with poignant irony - talking to him on the phone while I was in the hospital, and he complained about that cough of his that just wouldn't go away. But then he laughed it off and said that I - in the hospital recovering from surgery - clearly had it worse. I wish that had been the case. Because while my condition may be chronic, it's not terminal.

Eric ended up being diagnosed with mesothelioma - the asbestos cancer. He was way too young to have developed this cancer, but apparently had been exposed to asbestos decades prior while working at Kodak (which, in its film production heydays, had a reputation for being one of the nation's worst polluters).

His prognosis was initially... decent. Eric was young and strong. And he was eligible for the only good treatment available for people diagnosed with mesothelioma: a fairly radical surgery, followed by chemotherapy.

We were already determined to get things going with "The Machine Who Loved", and we made some initial inquiries with the local film office and an entertainment attorney. But the truth was, neither Eric nor I was an independent film producer. I'm a writer/director; Eric was an actor and casting director/agent - running Rochester's only talent agency for professional actors. Our hearts were in the right place, but we really didn't know where to start.

While Eric was recovering from surgery, a young producer contacted me out of the blue. Based in California, he was from western New York and had read about me on the local film office's website. He expressed interest in helping us produce "The Machine Who Loved."

I wish I could say that everything worked out fine - that we made the film, that Eric beat cancer. Neither of these things happened. We struggled with the film, while Eric struggled to "kick cancer's ass" (his words). He has a lot to live for: his wife & soul mate; his young son; his business; his dreams & goals; family, friends...

Eric just couldn't find the right chemo that would keep his cancer at bay. And we were not able to get financing for the film - in spite of attaching name actors and an A-list director of photography. Independent film financing pretty much dried up after the 2008 economic disaster, and between that and our producing team's collective inexperience... we just couldn't get the fire lit.

I'm writing this now because Eric's support of my writing - and his belief in this film - is something that truly changed me. He saw in my script the exact film I wanted to make - the exact film. And when I talked to him about my artistic ideas, he fully got that I was the only person who could make this film as it deserved to be made. Everyone else considers me a "first time" director because I don't have professional credits. But Eric saw me. Do you know what I mean?? He saw me as a person. He saw me for all of my abilities and potential.

I have met very few people who have truly "seen" me - on a personal or professional level.

In what I know is his final email to me, Eric said "I’ve known ever since reading 'The Machine Who Loved' that you will be successful." And he expressed, again, how he had wished to be a part of "helping you succeed". In ways that he may not fully understand, he has helped. I am a more confident person for knowing Eric. Though we took only a relatively short journey together, those few years were a very important part of my life. As was his support and understanding - for awhile we were "sick buddies," able to commiserate with the simple desire to put all that medical shit behind us and just do our thing.

I will continue to fight for this film. Eric Cubitt's name will still appear in the credits of "The Machine Who Loved". And my goal is nothing short than making the film I know Eric wanted to see - and wanted to be a part of. His faith in me will not be wasted.